That Which Scares You
by Autumn Rayne
Summary: Linda and Chloe have a chat. Post Season 3. Written as part of the "They're Back; Aren't They?" Fic Exchange.


**a/n:** Written as part of the "They're Back; Aren't They?" Fic Exchange for Flutterflap! Inspired by the song Bulletproof Soul by Iron & Wine, feat. Ben Bridwell. Hope y'all enjoy!

 **That Which Scares You**

Linda took a deep breath and slowly exhaled as she listened to a quick series of quiet clicks coming from the other side of the closed door. A small, sad smile graced her lips as she recalled her own reaction to learning Lucifer was the devil in much more than the metaphorical sense. She had been truly frightened. Afraid to venture home, worried the devil would follow, she had chosen to barricade herself in her office, hoping that Lucifer would not decide to return for his schedule sessions. There had been no need to fear the immortal being. Though she certainly had not been able to see that in the beginning.

The door opened slowly revealing a head of blonde hair of a woman and a pair of blue eyes peeking from behind the door. The eyes scanned the area around Linda, leaving the doctor to wonder if the woman was ensuring her visitor unaccompanied. Seemingly satisfied with what they say, they dropped to gaze at the floor, and their owner backed up and fully opened the door. Linda stepped over the threshold and immediately turned to close the door. She mentally breathed a relieved sigh seeing the only locks on the door and its frame were the deadbolt and the lock on the doorknob. She turned again and watched the blonde woman cross the room and round the end of the kitchen peninsula.

Linda approached the counter and pulled back a stool. As she sat, the woman across from her picked up a rag and a spray bottle. A spritz of cleaner here, a spritz of cleaner there, followed by a frantic swirling of white cloth. She didn't venture along the countertop, rather staying in one area; wiping only what her barely outstretched arm could reach. As still as her position were her features. Her expression remained neutral, giving no air of enjoyment or disgust towards her task. She did not hum, she did not sing through breathy, barely audible words. Linda knew these were not simply signs of complacency as the woman worked to complete such a mundane chore; the watcher knew they were signs of apprehension, signs of a deep-rooted anxiety.

"Chloe," Linda started gently, quietly. "How long have you been cleaning this spot?" Chloe stilled and stared at the rag before her eyes slinked farther along the surface.

"A while," she answered without lifting her gaze. Linda studied her carefully, nothing a hint of darkness across the bridge of her nose, circles beginning to appear under her eyes.

"Have you been sleeping?"

"Not really." She released the cleaning supplies and took a small step away from the counter. "I'm tired," she started as she absently scratched at the back of her head. "But sleep just isn't coming."

"Have you been having nightmares?" Linda prodded carefully.

"No." Chloe shook her head and looked away. "Can't have nightmares if I can't sleep."

"It's been a stressful few weeks," Linda commented. "I'm sure your thoughts are…spinning."

"Yeah. It's a lot to take in, you know?" she started as she looked at Linda. "Dealing with Charlotte's death and then the whole thing with Pierce being the one that killed her. And then the investigation into _his_ death…" Her voice trailed off as she rubbed her hands over her eyes. "I still can't wrap my head around all of it. I can't believe I almost married him."

"Close call," Linda said as she nodded. "How's Dan handling Charlotte's passing?"

"Um, as well as can be expected, I guess. Obviously, he took it harder than the rest of us but…" She scrunched her face. "Trixie has had a lot of questions about it. I've tried to answer what I can so she doesn't ask Dan. I know she's little and she doesn't understand, and I know Dan knows that, too, but I just feel like confronting him with her curiosity would be…painful for him."

"Death is, unfortunately, part of life. And part of being a parent is explaining death to children." Linda tipped her head to the side. "I wouldn't worry too much about Trixie asking questions. Maybe in helping her understand, Dan can work through some of his grief as well."

"I didn't think of it that way. I hope you're right; this is Dan's weekend with Trixie." She offered a small smile.

"And as far as Pierce is concerned?"

"Ugh, I don't know. I called off the wedding," she stated. Linda nodded. "It wasn't…it wasn't right. It wasn't what I _wanted_. Deep down what I _really_ wanted. And I'm just very happy that things between us didn't go farther than they did. I'm so…disgusted by what he's been doing, what he did to Charlotte, that I can't be…I've washed my hands of that whole situation." She reached across the counter and placed a gentle hand on Linda's arm. "And I do know that somewhere down the road I may have…" She lifted her hands and rolled her wrists. "I don't know, some sadness and sense of loss over Pierce, and I understand why, I do, and I'll deal with that when and if it happens. But for right now, I don't care to think about it." Linda nodded again.

"Well, when and if that happens, know that you may knock on my door at any time."

"Thank you, Linda," Chloe said as she smiled. "Would you…would you like a cup of coffee?" she asked as she pointed a thumb over her shoulder.

"That sounds wonderful. Thank you." Chloe turned around and made her way to the coffee maker.

"I just brewed a big pot," she said. "Figured since I wasn't sleeping I should have something to help me through the day."

"A big pot, huh?" Chloe nodded as she placed a mug on the countertop in front of Linda. "Are you using the coffee to manage the day or using it to keep yourself awake at night?" Chloe frowned as she moved to the refrigerator to retrieve the creamer.

"What do you mean?" Linda accepted the proffered bottle of creamer and poured a small amount into her mug.

"Are you using the coffee to keep yourself from sleeping at night?"

"No," Chloe answered. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you don't want the nightmares," Linda stated knowingly.

"We discussed this already. I'm not having nightmares."

"Chloe." Linda's eyes dropped to her mug as her hands wrapped around the warmth. "I know."

"You…know what?"

"I know about Lucifer."

"Everyone keeps asking about this," she mumbled. "Lucifer didn't kill Pierce," she started carefully. "Pierce attacked Lucifer, slipped and fell on the knife. The medical examiner said bruising around the entry was consistent with someone that had fallen—"

"First," Linda interrupted. "I'm sorry," she amended. "I don't mean to cut you off. I know that Lucifer killed Pierce. I know _exactly_ what happened."

"H-how do you…"

"He told me. Therapist, remember?"

"Oh. Right."

"But what I meant was that I _know_ about Lucifer." She waited a beat until she had solidified eye contact with Chloe. "I know who Lucifer really is."

"Oh," she breathed. "So you know he's…"

"Say it, Chloe," Linda prodded gently. "Say it aloud."

"You…you know Lucifer is…the devil." She lifted a hand to her stomach as though the action would quell the nauseating feeling developing. "I don't know why I'm surprised to hear you say that," she stated as she closed her eyes. "I shouldn't be. Therapist." She gently shook her head and opened her eyes. "How long have you known?"

"I found out just after your car accident." Linda released a gentle breath. "So, let's discuss the nightmares." Chloe dropped her eyes again.

"They're nothing, really. Just…" She frowned. "I keep seeing his…his face," she explained. "I'm stuck in the moment of seeing his face for the first time. I'm afraid." She lifted a hand and wiped the building tears from her eyes. "And I feel like an awful person."

"It's a lot to take in," Linda said gently. "Don't feel badly for being scared. It's a perfectly natural reaction to the unknown."

"But it's Lucifer," she argued. "I have _never_ been afraid of Lucifer. _Never_. And I don't understand why now? Why in my nightmares and not then when I saw his face?"

"Maybe you're finally able to process the emotions because the shock has worn off," Linda offered.

"I don't think he knew," she said absently. "I don't think he knew how he looked. I think it was more of a surprise to him than it was to me. Did he…did he say anything to you about that?" she asked. "I mean, I don't want to pry; I know your sessions are confidential but…"

"I don't think understanding Lucifer is a possibility until you understand yourself. What part scares you?" Linda asked. "Were you bothered by his physical appearance? By the burns?" Chloe shook her head. "Are you worried that he'll hurt you?"

"Of course not," she answered immediately.

"Then what are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid I'll never see him again," she answered after a quiet moment. "I don't care that he's the devil. For all the times that he's told me and I've pushed aside his remarks…I wasn't that surprised when I saw his face. I was shocked; I wasn't expecting it but…I guess some part of me has always believed his story." She looked at Linda. "I love him," she said. "I can't find a reason with this devil nonsense to change how I feel about him. I _love_ him." Linda slipped off the stool and rounded the counter.

"Love isn't always easy," she said as she joined Chloe's side. "Sometimes there are bullets to dodge. Sometimes dodging those bullets is not possible. But you, Chloe Decker, have never let the bullets Lucifer has sent in your direction hurt you. You've never let his claims of being the devil skew your opinion of him. You've never let his recklessness and impulsiveness cloud the good you believe him to have. There has never been anyone, celestial or human, who has made it past Lucifer's walls. No one who truly knows him. Except you." She smiled and offered a gentle tip of her head. "I'd wager that no one knows you quiet as completely as Lucifer does."

"I suppose you're right," Chloe replied, returning the smile.

"This revelation that Lucifer is the devil has hit you like a slow bullet, Chloe. But that hasn't changed your love for him because you have a bulletproof soul, woman." Chloe laughed lightly. "You were right. Lucifer did not now that his devil face had reappeared. He truly believes he has scared you away. And you believe you have scared him. So go see him," she suggested. "Right now. Go to the penthouse and see him. Talk to him. You both need to see that other is not running from this. You both need to talk about and understand that you feel the same way about each other."

"He loves me, too?" she asked quietly. "Are you sure?" Linda pulled her phone from her pocket.

"Let me get you an Uber," she said as she smiled widely. "And you can ask him yourself."


End file.
